Taking Responsibility For Your Actions
By Audrey Marlene
What Does It Mean?
Why is it so difficult for us to accept responsibility for our actions? There is a story of two parents with two children who attended 5 schools before 10th grade all within a 20 mile radius because they claimed the schools were horrible and the teachers showed favoritism. At what point would these parents accept responsibility for their children's involvement in the problems they experienced?
We all like to feel important and have others have a high opinion of us. Some more than others develop an over-inflated view of themselves. These tendencies act to wrap us in what many call "denial", which creates a false perception of self and the inability to accept the truth about us. It then becomes painful to accept that mistakes are possible and when we make them the first reaction is to point the finger at someone else. We refuse to think objectively and accept any involvement for our actions. Taking responsibility can be a very painful thing to do.
The inability to accept responsibility for our actions and behaviors is a result of insecurity. By taking responsibility one feels they are admitting to being weak, powerless, or an opportunity to lose the respect of others. It may cause one to feel they will lose their sense of value and importance.
On the contrary, taking responsibility earns you respect. We can't be perfect all the time, we all make mistakes. When we accept responsibility we are accepting the blame for our actions and also accepting the responsibility for making improvements in our lives. Accepting responsibility is a measure of one's self-worth, their level of security, and the true sign of strength and courage. Having this ability can empower you to grow in ways that would bring you great rewards and accomplishments in your life.
Who would you have greater respect for, a person who takes responsibility for his/her actions, owns up to it and promises to do better in the future, or someone who perpetually denies any involvement in situations when it's obvious they may be responsible? Accepting responsibility is a sign of personal growth and maturity. It is definitely not a sign of weakness.
The Consequences for NOT Taking Responsibility
When you fail to accept personal responsibility for your actions there are a series of events that follow over time. The consequences do not necessarily promote goal achievement and success in life. The signals you send to the subconscious can come back to sabotage your progress.
One of the negative consequences that follow is an exaggerated sense of self that makes it difficult to get along with others. You then run the risk of becoming involved in conflicting situations and becoming more critical of others. Because your perception of your importance is exaggerated, your expectation of others is unrealistic and you become impatient, intolerant, and demanding. With this attitude, you act as a repellent to others, finding it difficult to gain their cooperation. Your relationships can suffer and before long very few people would want to be around you.
When taking responsibility for your actions is difficult to accept, you experience frequent feelings of insecurity. These insecurities can trigger doubt about your own abilities, which undermines your self-confidence. In this state of mind you have a high need to be right at all times to compensate for what you feel you are lacking. You defend your every action, right or wrong. It compounds the already existing problem of being unable to accept personal responsibility and reinforces this behavior even more.
Once this habit of refusing to accept personal responsibility is maintained, your character can become slowly transformed. You may tend to become someone who is irresponsible, a quitter, reliant on others, disturbed, unhappy, hopeless, angry, irrational, and defiant or even depressed. These qualities are not success enhancers. They can eat away at your ability to achieve your best.
Examine your life today. Are you able to accept responsibility for your actions?
Reasons why Taking Responsibility is so Difficult
There are many people who develop this tendency to be unable to accept personal responsibility for their actions. Let's look in more detail some of the causes of one's inability to adopt this characteristic.
1. Feelings of Insecurity - There are some folks who may have been raised in a very chaotic environment where they were constantly put down, yelled at, or emotionally abused. There are some who grew up in an underprivileged environment and grew up with feelings of inferiority or were raised by parents who carried feelings of inferiority. Someone who didn't receive much attention, positive reinforcement, or recognition growing up, always feeling overlooked. These conditions can cause a lack of confidence in their own abilities along with feelings of low self-esteem.
2. Arrogance- People develop arrogance for several reasons. It could have been inherited - some folks know very little about humility. Others are so over confident that they become completely self-centered and see themselves as flawless and incapable of making mistakes. There are those who are so insecure that their arrogance is a way of compensating for their insecurities. They feel they must act superior to others.
3. Prejudices- Some people who feel victims of racial discrimination, intolerance, or narrow-mindedness, are always on guard or on edge. They feel unable to get the recognition they deserve and feel that others stand in their way of progress. This triggers feelings of insecurities that results of the inability to accept responsibility for their actions.
What I have identified are only some of the underlying reasons why some of us cannot accept responsibility for our actions. Does any of this sound familiar to you? Is so, this doesn't make you a bad person. You should be congratulated for recognizing these characteristics in you. Now that you are aware the next step is to making a change in your life.
How to Take Responsibility for your actions
Stop and think back to the last time you accepted responsibility for something. Does it seem as if you have a difficult time doing it? By accepting that you do have a problem in this area and learning ways of taking responsibility for your actions, you are taking your life to a higher level of existence. You will find yourself feeling more vibrant and happier. So how can you learn to take responsibility for your actions?
Take your degree of success to a higher to level.
Quotes On Taking Responsibility
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Taking Responsibility for Your Actions
When we make excuses or try to blame other people or external factors for the eventual outcome of something, not only are we failing to take responsibility, but we are demonstrating a character trait which is very common in people who fail to succeed in anything.
In shouldering responsibility ourselves, we are giving ourselves the power to shape the outcome ourselves and are therefore taking an active and not a passive role in how the outcome turns out.
RealisationIt’s only when you accept that everything you are or ever will be is up to you, that you are able to get rid of the negativity of excuse making that can so often prevent you from succeeding. You may find yourself in your current position in both your personal and professional life and remain convinced that if all’s not going well, then it’s ‘so and so’s fault’. However, we all have free will which means that we are completely responsible for all of our successes and failures and of our happiness or state of unhappiness.
When we realise this it can, at first, seem like a huge responsibility which we are placing on our shoulders but when you rationalise it and accept that you are responsible for every action you take and every decision you make, that there is virtually nothing that you can’t achieve, have or accomplish if you accept that it’s within yourself and yourself only, to reach your ultimate goal.
Get Out Clauses Don’t WorkOne of our biggest problems is that we don’t like to fail and, more importantly, we don’t like to be seen to fail. The problem with that train of thought, however, is that we then tend to set ourselves a goal but at the same time we create an excuse to keep as a ‘spare card’ we can use so that if we don’t succeed, we can blame something or somebody else. However, the more personal responsibility we take, the more in control we are and the more control we have, the more likely we will reach our goal as there will be no excuses to fall back on if we fail.
Therefore, taking responsibility for our actions equals success. It also makes us feel good about ourselves and rids us of negative personality traits such as anger, fear, resentment, hostility and doubt.
Replacing the NegativeIf you’ve ever been around somebody who always appears to be ‘down on their luck’, you’ll have noticed that their whole personality seems to be riddled with negative comments and that they have nothing positive to say. It’s quite true that you can’t really hold both a positive and negative feeling at the same time, so by replacing the negative with a positive, it stops you from feeling unhappy as you have come to accept that you are now going to be solely responsible for how you feel, not other people or other external factors.
Accepting ResponsibilityOnce you accept total responsibility for everything that happens to you in life, you will soon discover that this also enables you to find solutions to life’s difficulties far more quickly.
For example, take work colleagues or someone you are in a personal relationship with. Say you’re having problems with them and it is causing you stress. A negative person who likes to apportion blame might say, “Since I met so and so, it’s been nothing but trouble” whereas somebody who accepts total responsibility might say, “Hang on a moment; I am responsible for having this person or these people in my life. I took that job or I embarked upon this relationship – no-one forced me to.” Therefore, if they’re not happy with the situation and have taken responsibility for it, they are also able to find the solution – in this case, by leaving the job or getting out of an unhealthy relationship.
Similarly, what about those who are feeling bitter because people earn more than they do. Well, whose fault is that? If you accept total responsibility, then you’ll look to do something about it if it’s important to you. Find out how you can earn more money. Speak to others and find out what it is they are doing differently to you then start applying all that knowledge to make the changes you need to make to create the kind of life you want.
In accepting responsibility, you are accepting a willingness to develop your character and in doing that, the stronger your character will become and your life will be improved as a consequence.
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Lori - 13-Mar-18 @ 1:20 PM
Lenrock- Your Question:
Can you help me. After 5yrs of being verbally abusive my wife has sent me this link. Not saying it doesn’t make sense or make excuses but now that you know where I stand can you Help me
Our Response:Why did she send it to you? Was it to excuse her own behaviour or to accuse you of being negative? Sorry it's not clear what you're asking.
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